Suffering from an acute case of Verb Confusion, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Term XLV, Issue 03 (#241)
Weather outlook:
A bit smelly.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Happy All Hallow's Eve, you crazy goblins. Hope everyone isn't gorging
themselves on too many sugary treats. And if you are or have, then
cardiologists are standing by.
In completely unrelated news, the NUTS Website
(http://nutsevents.topcities.com/) has been updated with the latest
statistics from the Pool League. It's actually been a long time coming,
and for those of you out there who crave Pool League statistics,
consider your cravings satisfied. For other cravings, you'll have to
look elsewhere. But fortunately, you're already on the Internet. So
crave away!
In other news, if anyone has noticed, but the internal Alcatel-Lucent
mirror is no longer active. This is because the host formerly known as
Torpedo has been decommissioned. Poor valiant SunBlade. I doff my
electronic hat to thee.
Until next time,
If I ever notice a double-entendre, I whip it out immediately.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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NUTS Pool League
================
Mondays
STILL NEW EMAIL!!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (nuts.pool$gmail.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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I'd like to explain why you'll never find a Green Party sign on my lawn.
I like a lot of their policies, and I'm completely onboard with the
facts of global warming and that we have to take steps to preserve the
cleanliness of our air. I also like their idea of completely abolishing
publicly funded religious schools in Ontario. Your religion is your
business and it shouldn't come out of my tax dollars.
All well and good. Then I went and read their platform.
http://www.gpo.ca/node/286
"Tax Shifting: Pay for what you burn, not for what you earn"
Sounds nice, doesn't it? We stop taxing income and we start taxing
resources. Seems reasonable, right? This is what governments do: they
regulate industry and society by placing incentives on those actions
which make society better.
There's only a little problem and it's given away just a little further
down the page: "The phase out of the $2.6 billion Ontario Health
Premium Tax, which is a *tax on jobs* …"
A tax on jobs? That's conservative talk. In fact, that's *extreme*
conservative talk. That's code for the ignorant "Don't let that
government take your money. You keep it all to yourself! Yeah! Stupid
government!" It's not a tax on jobs, it's a tax on income. You have
benefited from our society and you are required to contribute some of
that back.
This tax plan isn't acceptable and probably isn't even workable. Why?
Because it unfairly punishes poor people. We all need to heat our
homes. We all need to use some kind of transportation – if not
personally then to have food and goods delivered to us. What this tax
plan would do is raise the price of foods and manufactured goods by
taxing manufacture and transportation. Everyone would pay this tax,
regardless of income.
Say you earn $20k. On this amount of money, you currently pay almost no
income tax. Say you earn $200k. You pay quite a bit of tax. This is
called "progressive taxation". Progressive taxation makes the
assumption that those who have more should take care of those who have
less – not just out of a sense of humanity but also because you can't
make $200k without a lot $20k people doing crappy jobs around you. It's
a rebalancing of wealth to account for the problem of free market
capitalism placing zero value on a human being's life.
Under the new taxation system, the guy earning $20k suddenly finds his
grocery bill doubling. He suddenly finds that – because Ontario has a
lot of coal and nuclear power – his electricity bill has quadrupled.
His bedsheets and sundries suddenly cost a whole lot more because
they're transported in from another country. He's going to have a lot
harder time getting by.
The guy earning $200k sees it completely differently. He saves about
$70k in income taxes. His grocery bill and electricity bill also go up,
but not by $70k. He can even take some of his extra money and put solar
cells on his house to avoid some of his taxes (an option not open to the
$20k man because he lives in an apartment). Rich guy will be taking
$50k more home, his tax burden having been shifted and spread over the
lower class.
The Green Party: stealth conservatives, if you ask me.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Technological Advances
======================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Funny Time Joke Plant
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists
Found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
Conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one
thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists
dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have
found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that
their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Newfoundland newspapers reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Newfie scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their
ancestors were already using wireless technology."
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Grandmas Don't Know Everything
==============================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Instant Joke Party
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep
in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth.
"It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, okay," and went back outside to
play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't
called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
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