In one ear and gone tomorrow, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Term XLV, Issue 02 (#240)
Weather outlook:
Creeping.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Sorry again for the delay in putting out the issues of the J&G. This is
what happens when you put monkeys in charge of editorial content: you
get lots of stories about bananas.
The DTK this week was written fresh after the Ontario provincial
election, so pretend it's still two weeks ago and all of that
post-election musk still fills the air. Ah, smells like cabbage.
Until next time,
Don't let oppression get you down!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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NUTS Pool League
================
Mondays
STILL NEW EMAIL!!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (nuts.pool$gmail.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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A few post-election thoughts rapping at ya'.
This started off as a cakewalk for the Tories under the leadership of
John Tory. The man should have been able to walk over the McGuinty
government easily. The biggest flaw to poke at was that McGuinty had
promised not to raise personal taxes and then gone and raised them anyway.
What the Tories were *not* telling you was that *they*, having been the
previous governments, were pretending there was no deficit when there in
fact *was* a $6 billion deficit. That was the excuse for having to
raise taxes. Of course, McGuinty and everybody knew about this deficit.
They were only pretending not to know.
But then John Tory promised to extend public funding to more faith-based
schools. On the face of it, this seems fair. If the Catholics get
their own publicly funded school board, why not every other religion?
Why discriminate? The preference of Ontarians, however, is to remove
the Catholic school board – not extend financing to all religions.
Maybe people around here have read some history, or some present day
news, and realized that religion and politics mix poorly. Tory and his
Tories plummeted in support, and for more reasons than mere
anti-religiousness.
The people of Ontario have a memory, and that memory includes the
government of Mike Harris when he led the Tories as Premier of Ontario.
The stated goal of his government was to create a "crisis" in the
education system so as to "get the government out of the education
business". Their goal was to destroy public education. They used
taxpayer dollars to insult and degrade teachers with television ads.
They cut and froze teacher salaries. They passed a bill allowing the
government to cut off collective bargaining and impose contracts on the
teachers. They even began taking money out of public schools and giving
it as tax breaks to people with children in private school.
The argument at the time was that they were improving the system by
giving parents "choice". What they were really doing – what they were
actually caught on video stating as their purpose - was ruining the
education system. I can only presume that this is because they hated the
equality of opportunity that it was giving poor children with their own.
I don't see why else they would do this.
So when John Tory came out and promised us that he wanted to give money
to faith-based schools as a matter of "fairness", I think we saw the
same line of lies and deceit that Harris fed us with his matter of
"choice". That is to say: it is utter nonsense covering the intention
to destroy the public education system.
And he was punished soundly, which will teach them a lesson for next time.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
**********
[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Why English Is A Pain To Learn
==============================
Thanks to Bryce G.'s Silly Face Machine
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Useless Information
===================
Thanks to Bryce G.'s Happy Time Motorboat Tours
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
The King of Hearts is the only king without a moustache.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks several centimetres every
year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account
the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
A snail can sleep for three years.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing.
All polar bears are left handed.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow.
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
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