The last thing you expect to jump out at you from behind the sofa, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Term XLV, Issue 01 (#239)
Weather outlook:
Oh please let the nice weather it last.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Welcome back to a brand new [*] issue of the Juice and Gin after a
moderately short hiatus at the end of the summer, which strangely enough
carried over into the beginning of the fall.
Things are pretty much the same here now as they were before, only with
more mild cursing, dammit.
The Pool League, officially called the NUTS Pool League, is fully
running amuck for the fall term. That means there's plenty of time to
get in on all the action. See the Ongoing Events section for the
still-brand-new email address. You know you wanna.
Other than that, enjoy the warm weather while it lasts. I'M NOT READY
FOR WINTER!! I WANT MY SUMMER BACK!!
Ahem.
And furthermore, etcetera and so on.
[*] Contains 53% new footage
Until next time,
I plan to live forever... or die trying.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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NUTS Pool League
================
Mondays
STILL NEW EMAIL!!
New term starts in September!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (nuts.pool$gmail.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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Democracy seems pretty simple: every person gets a vote; every vote
counts equally.
There are a lot of ways of implementing this: representation;
referendum; pretending to listen to people and ignoring it. The details
can go pretty deep.
In our province, and our country, the present system is called "first
past the post" for reasons I don't precisely understand. What it means
is pretty simple. Everyone who wants to vote goes to the polling
station and votes for a local candidate. The question is: who should
be your representative in government? The candidates are usually
aligned to a specific party. When the votes are counted the winner is
the person who has the largest number of votes.
In a system without parties, this voting method would have serious
problems. In our system –- with parties -– it's a disaster.
Let's pretend for a moment, just a moment, that there are no parties.
We elect our representatives based *entirely* on their personal
positions on various issues that are important to us. Suppose that
there are four candidates in your riding.
Candidate #1 wants to abolish all public education.
Candidate #2 wants to keep public education and hire more teachers.
Candidate #3 wants to keep public education and keep the same number of
teachers.
Candidate #4 wants to keep public education and lower university tuition.
70% of the voting public wants to keep public education, but they split
their votes over the candidates #2, #3 and #4. The minority who want to
abolish public education all focus on Candidate #1 and he beats the
others by a tiny margin. In this case, our voting system has failed the
test of democracy: it is not representing the will of the public.
In a party-infested system, it's even worse. Once you get two parties
entrenched - as the Liberals and Conservatives have done – it is very
difficult to get another voice in. Once those two parties are purchased
by corporate money, it becomes even more dangerous. You're going to
vote Liberal just to keep the Conservatives out, even though you agree
with the Greens or the NDP. You're forced to vote not your will, but
the lesser of two evils. The Americans are seeing the absolute worst of
this two-party monopoly.
In this election, we in Ontario are being given the chance to amend this
system. Along with the normal ballot to vote for your local
representative, you will have a ballot for a referendum on *changing*
the voting system. The new option laid before you is the "Mixed Member
Proportional" system.
How does this work? If we choose to use MMP, it will take effect in the
next provincial election. You will receive two ballots. The first
ballot will work the exact same way as the current system – which is to
say that you will choose a local candidate to represent your riding.
The *second* ballot will allow you to choose a political party.
When the votes are tallied, the local candidate with the most votes on
the first ballot will be the winner. He will be chosen to represent
your riding. In addition, there are 39 extra seats in Ontario
Parliament that will be apportioned to "List Members". These "List
Members" will be dealt out in such a way that the ratio of the seats in
Parliament – the total ratio, including the locally elected
representatives – will reflect the party-line ratio of votes on the
*second* ballot.
In the end, the point is that if 6% of the population votes for the
Green Party, then 6% of Parliament will be Green Party representatives.
Even if they couldn't garner more than 6% in any riding and were
beaten soundly, "List Members" will be chosen from the Green Party to
fill in some of those extra 39 seats of Parliament in order to make the
numbers line up.
You can read more about it here: http://yourbigdecision.ca/
It's the best solution possible to the problem that our system faces,
that thing they call a "deficit of democracy"
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Points To Ponder
================
Thanks to Bryce G.'s First Automatic Shout-Out
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to
a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why Doctors call what they do "practise"?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop 'Windows'?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dish washing
liquid is made with real lemons?
Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavour?
Why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why your Obstetrician or Gynaecologist leaves the room when you get
undressed -- if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why Goofy stands erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
but can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people can see their dreams?
If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that
ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why the "Alphabet Song" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same
tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why it is when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when
you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
How come we put a man on the moon before realising it would be a good
idea to put wheels on suitcases?
Why brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever?
How important someone has to be before they can be 'assassinated' rather
than just plain 'murdered'?
Why "phonetically" isn't spelt the way it sounds?
Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?
Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
When you get to heaven / paradise / nirvana, are you stuck wearing
whatever you were buried or cremated in forever?
Why people say they "slept like a baby," when babies normally wake up
every two hours?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
are low?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars
in the sky, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the
Special Olympics?
If you send someone Styrofoam, how do you pack it?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Why don't women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a
hostage situation?
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he
still wrong?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
Why did you give me your e-mail address in the first place?
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
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