Paralysed with blinding rage, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Term XLIV, Issue 07 (#237)
Weather outlook:
Snippy.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Holy crap! How many weeks has it been since the last Juice and Gin?
Hands up those who said "Not nearly enough?"
And so on, and so forth...
Until next time,
But if I turn off my TV, who will tell me what to think? And where will
I get my catchphrases?
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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NUTS Pool League
================
Mondays
STILL NEW EMAIL!!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (nuts.pool$gmail.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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Funny story.
I changed jobs a few weeks ago, ending a decade long stretch of work
that started when I was hired out of school by Newbridge. That was long
ago and far away and anything with Newbridge written on it is considered
kitsch.
So I got around to setting up all the administrative/payroll thingies
here at the new place and one of the first and most important things to
do is get the RRSP set up. I want to retire comfortably, so no sense
wasting time.
I call up the RRSP broker dude and we create the new account. He asks
me how I want it set up. What funds will I choose? I wasn't too
interested in changing anything so I told him to simply use the same
fund breakdown I had just been using with my previous income.
There's a pause as he brings up that file and I hear him utter the
following inane criticism (for he intended it as such), delivered in a
robotic fashion that made me think, for just an instant, that I had
somehow triggered an automated attendant: "You are *overexposed* in
Canadian stocks. You are *underexposed* in American stocks." It was
said in that funny manner where certain words seem to be prerecorded
separately from the whole sentence.
I merely affirmed my preferences with a grunt.
"You really should have more U.S. exposure," he said.
"U.S. exposure," I explained patiently, "comes in U.S. dollars. Those
aren't doing so well."
He babbles on for a while about economic factors, 'signals' from certain
'benchmarks' that indicate a 'rebound'.
"Look," I said honestly, "I don't want to get in to a political
discussion." -- no, really, I didn't want a political discussion with my
RRSP broker -- "I do not like the amount of debt the country is racking up."
He felt like he'd caught me out. "You mean the trade deficit?", he
asked in a condescending tone as if using some secret economist language
could embarrass me.
"The trade deficit, the federal government deficit, the wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan, the punishment the economy is taking from oil prices, you
name it," I told him.
"Well," he said, "there are some economic theories which advising going
in to debt during a recession --"
"Yes," I cut him off. What, had he suddenly turned in to a socialist?
"Those theories work when the government goes in to debt in order to
create jobs that create infrastructure, which eventually improves
society. Those theories do not apply to the construction of weapons
which *destroy* infrastructure."
Personally, I'm all well and good with a "New Deal" arrangement where
corporate profits and high incomes are taxed in order to keep the poor
from ignorance and starvation and thereby stimulate the economy from the
bottom up. I can't believe that anyone would suggest that spending that
tax money on bombs somehow accomplishes that goal.
In the end, I didn't pile any of my money in to any of his recommended
funds. It just didn't make sense.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
**********
[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Real Life Or Scooby Doo Plot?
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Thanks to Linda G.'s Pilfered Monkey Pants
Quiz time!
http://www.mentalfloss.com/quiz/quiz.php?p=1&q=94
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Deflector
=========
Thanks to Greg G.
http://www.bbspot.com/games/deflector/
(Flash game)
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Top 10 Binary Digits
====================
Thanks to Greg G.
10. 0
1. 1
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Random Thoughts
===============
Thanks to Linda G.'s Comedy Whirlwind Machine Of Death
01. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
02. A day without sunshine is like... night.
03. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
04. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
05. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
06. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
07. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
08. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
09. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of rent payments.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
18. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
19. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
20. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
21. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
22. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
23. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what
happened.
24. Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
25. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (within Alcatel-Lucent)
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