A one-way ticket to destinations unknown, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Term XLIV, Issue 06 (#236)
Weather outlook:
Parsley.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Okay, I can't bring myself to send out an issue of the Juice and Gin
without an introduction. Now, this doesn't stop me from filling it with
nonsensical junk. I just care too much.
Until next time,
That is the dematerialising control, and that over yonder is the
horizontal hold; up there is the scanner, those are the doors, and that
is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop
bothering me!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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NUTS Pool League
================
Mondays
STILL NEW EMAIL!!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (nuts.pool$gmail.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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There are few things more pathetic than a government trying to cover its
most brutal mistakes and indiscretions by declaring them a matter of
national security. When the Liberals were in government, even in the
midst of the worst of the sponsorship and HRDC scandals, they never
tried to claim that an investigation of those areas would violate
national security.
South of the border, the Bush administration is more than willing to
cover up lawyer firings, WMD lies and secret agent outings under the
guise of patriotic, national security. Think of the danger the troops
would face if the Iraqis knew how the U.S. government rigged the
country's justice system!
But now it comes home to roost.
In past weeks, I've talked about our obligations under the Geneva
Conventions. First, when we capture people in battle, we become
responsible for their treatment. This occurs even if we don't refer to
the battle as being part of a "war" or avoid calling our prisoners
"prisoners of war". Second, if we decide that we are going to turn over
these prisoners to a third party, we have to ensure that the third party
will treat them according to the Geneva Conventions.
If we don't follow the rules for treatment of prisoners, we are in
violation of the Geneva Conventions. People who violate the Geneva
Conventions are called war criminals.
Apparently, our present government doesn't like the idea of its
ministers and generals being outed as war criminals. So they've decided
that it's against our "national security" interests to release any
further information about how many "detainees" we've handed over to the
Afghan government, when they were handed over, and -- most tellingly --
any information the military has on how they've been treated.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20070709.wdetainees09/BNStory/Front
Sound familiar? The standard refrains about "safety of ... personnel",
"effectiveness ... in the operational theatre". Yes, your democratic
right to know what evil your government is perpetrating is overridden by
their desire not to get caught at it.
When asked whether or not the "detainee transfer logs, medical records,
witness statements and other processing forms" could be used in some
way, the response was that they couldn't tell us because of "security
reasons."
Right. So they can't even tell us why they can't tell us anything.
In any democratic system of governance, the people are ultimately
responsible for the actions of the military. That means that you,
fellow citizen, reading this article, are responsible. If the military
is allowed to torture people, or turn them over for torturing, without
telling you, how can you live up to your responsibility?
Because, believe me, someone will hold you responsible. Someday the
people being tortured will come for their revenge. And we're living in
a democracy, so they know exactly who is at fault.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
**********
[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Signage
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Thanks to Linda G.'s Joke Collage
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING -- BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON
THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR -- THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK)
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The Mistress
============
Thanks to Linda G.'s Bucket Of Fun
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when
this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives
her husband a big kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a
divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a
divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering
in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Mercedes and Lexus in
the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous lady on
his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (within Alcatel-Lucent)
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