The wrongest man in Wrong Town, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Term XLIV, Issue 04 (#232)
Weather outlook:
Planty.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Really, it has been my intention to keep the Juice and Gin running
regularly every week, since it really shouldn't really be a surprise
when a periodical gets published. Periodicity should mean regularity,
but around here it's just a word that's difficult to spell correctly.
So what we have left is the fact that that the primary reason that the
J&G doesn't go out on time is that the Editor, for some unknown and
possibly insane reason, feels that the introductions should actually
have content. Not to say "redeeming" content, just content. Basically
random stuff that fills up another portion of the newsletter so that
people who want to waste some time here can do so for a little bit longer.
So maybe one of these day's I'll give the J&G a go without an
introduction.
But not next week. Oh no.
You'll see why.
Until next time,
You know the saying "Softly softly catchee monkey?" I could catch a
monkey.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Thursday
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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This week, a rant of personal greed and selfishness.
Passenger train service needs to cheaper. Think about it. Trains are,
by far, the most efficient way to move large numbers of people. Less
fuel is consumed. Less pollution is produced. Yes, it will take longer
than using an airplane for cross-country hops, but for most short hops
it's actually shorter after you factor in all of the nonsense that goes
with getting to an airport, checking your baggage, yada yada yada.
Still, train fare for two people is generally more expensive than taking
a car, even if you account for wear and tear on the car, insurance, gas
and everything.
If the train is such an efficient method of transportation, why is this so?
It's because you don't, up front, pay the true cost of driving your car.
You see, in order to drive a car, you need a series of smooth surfaces
over which to drive it. These are often referred to as "roads" or
"highways". Highways have overpasses, true marvels of engineering, and
cloverleafs, on-ramps, off-ramps, girders, embankments, ditches, lights,
digital signs, traffic cops, accidents, ambulances. In fact, a whole
lot of the cost of driving your car is hidden away from you and kept
quite indirect.
Your taxes dollars are subsidizing the driving of your car.
Imagine if your tax dollars equally subsidized efficient public
transportation. How many billions of dollars would be involved there?
Some astronomical figure, for certain. Now buses still need roads, but
they wouldn't have nearly as many accidents, nor put as much mass on the
road. Trains have tracks that need maintenance and have their own
digital signs, but those they use quite efficiently and are easier to
maintain than a giant network of highways. People would also have to
spend at least some their days walking around, which would likely save
us some health care dollars.
So, in summary, we ought to be subsidizing public transportation a lot
more than we do. As well, we should stop complaining that VIA Rail and
other outfits like it "aren't profitable". Neither is the highway
system, so what's your point?
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Shuffle
=======
Thanks to Greg G. @ ALU
Pool + curling = huge time-wasting black hole.
http://www.shockwave.com/content/shuffle/sis/shuffle.swf
(Flash game)
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Differences Between You And Your Boss
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
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Peg Leg Pig
===========
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door,
noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred,
how'd that pig get a wooden leg?"
"Well, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked
me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin',
went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?"
"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had a nasty fire.
Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started
squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the
darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"
"No. He was a might winded, though. Later, when my tractor hit a rock
and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I
came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out 'fore I
drowned. Sure did save my life."
"And that was when he hurt his leg?"
"Oh no, he was fine. Cleaned him up, too."
"OK, Fred. So just tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?"
"Well", the farmer tells him, "A pig like that, you don't want to eat
all at once."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (within Alcatel-Lucent)
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