With all the glitz and glamour of a fine pork roast, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Term XLIII, Issue 5 (#224)
Weather outlook:
Snow and stuff.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Welcome to the all new, semi-improved Super Happy Fun-Time Juice and
Gin, now fortified with more iron than the leading brand. This is also
the first issue using the new super-exclusive subscriber lists. Does
this mean I'm going to use inappropriate language in the introductions
more often? Only time will crappy tell.
Hopefully now that things are back on track I'll be able to keep up a
regular weekly publication schedule. But don't count on it, Chester.
In any event, because I missed last week, here's a nice and plump
double-sized issue of the J&G for your viewing pleasure. And by
double-sized I mean two DTKs and two jokes. I give because I love.
Until next time,
No one is allowed in grandma's special box.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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[Another double shot of love from Greg this week. --Ed.]
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For those who are interested in hearing about what we, the French and
the U.S. did the people of Haiti, here's the story as told by the
president whom we were responsible for kidnapping and exiling.
http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=55&ItemID=12166
On to other matters.
Multiculturalism is all the rage these days.
We have people who would ban Muslims from immigrating to Canada because
they don't seem to want to "blend in" or because they want to take over
our culture.
The argument seems to have some logical support. Look at those halal
butcheries. Look at the women in the chadors and hijabs. Look at that
weird praying thing they do five times a day. They're weird! They're
crazy! Get them out of our country now, before it's too late! Force
them to conform! Don't let them change our country! They want to make
us all in to muslims!
Alright. Take a deep breath.
Let's look at this rationally. The Muslims show up in our country,
mostly educated and prepared to work. They have some unexpected beliefs
that don't line up with "our" Christian ones. They don't seem to speak
English very well. All of these things are true.
Ultimately, however, I also believe that all of these things are
temporary. You know how I can tell?
My grandparents arrived in Canada after WWII. My maternal grandmother
spoke Slovak and only halting English. My mother speaks only English.
I barely know a word of Slovak. My paternal grandfather, already
saddled with four or five languages, never really caught on to English.
His wife still has a better mastery of German (German! Egads, the
enemy! Send her home!) than of English. Her sons spoke only dialect
German. Of her seven grandchildren, only one of them can make sentences
in German. Of the ten great-grandchildren, how many will know any German?
What I'm saying is that it's only a matter of time. New immigrants,
finding themselves in an unfamiliar place, will stick together by their
cultural background. My hometown had a German club, a Slovak Hall, a
Croatian Home as well as Halls for Italians, Poles and you name it.
Muslims are doing the same thing, but a generation later. Their
children will grow up with ours, as our parents grew up with each other,
and will add their diversity to our culture.
Muslims are no more likely to destroy Canadian culture than Germans and
Italians were two generations ago.
Right now, I have no doubt that there are Muslims in this country who
want to turn our country in to a place of Islamic and sharia law. For
all I know, there might even be a large number of such people. But
their children, like all children, think their parents are nuts. Their
children will wear blue jeans, watch CBC, listen to infidel music, and
become a part of our society.
Will they change our society? Of course they will. Every person who
arrives from anywhere in the world will change our country. I'm not
afraid of change, though, nor of absurd things like half-breed children
and race-mixing. The only way to achieve stasis is through death, and
I'm just not that dedicated to the notion, thank you.
Greg.
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The case of the little girl and her hijab.
11-year-old Asmahan Mansour went to a soccer tournament in Quebec and
was told that she couldn't play while wearing her hijab because it
violated the rules against headgear. The referee, himself a Muslim,
made the call based on the list of rules he was given. Rather than
remove her hijab - a scarf covering her hair - she elected not to play.
Her coach then pulled the team off the field and forfeited the game on
account of what he called discrimination. Four other teams, from the
same area as Asmahan's, also pulled out of the tournament.
There are now two loud, obnoxious sides battling over this issue. The
first side is the one crying discrimination. This is racism! This is
her religion and culture! She has a right to practise it! The referee
and the soccer association are being evil and intolerant. The second
side is the actual anti-immigration, racist nutbars. Adapt to our
culture or leave! You want to make us all in to Muslims! You want
sharia law and stonings.
Paranoid ignorance striving against pathetic exaggeration, and all of
them missing the point, as per usual.
Take it as read that I don't like religion. Everyone, absolutely, has a
right to practise what they wish as long as they don't infringe on my
right to be non-religious. When I see Muslim women covering themselves
because they feel it is their religious duty to not be tempting to men
(which is my best understanding of the whole thing), I sense the same
blame-the-woman nonsense that has inculcated religions forever, whether
it be the story of Pandora's Box or the Expulsion from Eden. But just
because I think your religion is bad doesn't mean I can deny your right
to practise it. I may shake my head from a distance and mock you, but
that's my freedom too.
Put that aside for a moment though and consider a few other things. The
coach and the team knew that the rules were against headgear. They just
hoped that, as in their league games in Ontario, the rule against
headgear would not be enforced. This, to me, is the nucleus of the
idiocy of the whole situation. If the coach knew that there was this
rule, he had a responsibility to discuss it with his team member and
then to take it to the committee in charge of this tournament. There he
could have explained that the hijab was a thin scarf and could not
injure the wearer or other players as a baseball cap might. He could
also have explained that the scarf itself could be fastened in such a
way as to prevent it from blocking his player's vision and endangering
her that way. The committee could then have checked with their
insurance company and made an exception. This process takes time,
however - time the coach apparently wasn't willing to put in.
Eventually, a referee had a to make the call. Why? I've officiated
before and I can tell you why. Because it's his ass on the line if he
allows someone to play wearing inappropriate gear. Imagine if a hockey
referee allowed a player to play without a helmet and that player took a
puck to the head. The referee would be vilified for negligence. Worse
for this poor guy, a Muslim man is not supposed to ask a woman to remove
her hijab. Damned if he did, damned if he didn't.
Don't blame the 11-year-old girl. She was just living the way she'd
been taught to live. Don't blame the FIFA rule makers or the tournament
committee. They were blind-sided. Don't blame the referee. He was
stuck between a rock and a hard place and did what he thought best to
keep the rest of the kids on the field covered by the tournament's
insurance policy. You want somebody to blame? Ask the coach why,
knowing this rule was there, he didn't go on ahead of time and discuss
it with the tournament officials.
The real crime here is that so many kids, travelling so far to play in
this tournament, were denied the ability to do so.
Greg.
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[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Washing Clothes
===============
Thanks to Linda G.'s Giant Melon Fiesta
One day a husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he
stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do
I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Toronto!"
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At A Medical Lecture
====================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Funky Pot O' Plenty
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions"
to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what
your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "Probably watching hockey with his buddies."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (within Alcatel-Lucent)
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