The coolest kid in rehab, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Term XLIII, Issue 2 (#221)
Weather outlook:
Freaky cold.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Did anyone notice that there hasn't been a Juice and Gin the last three
weeks? Well, there's a good reason for that: there hasn't been one.
One point for your side for paying attention, and then minus one hundred
points for demanding to keep score. Ooooooh, SNAP!
All you really need to know is that winter is here. And that means you
really ought to stay indoors. Because that's where the beer is.
One final golden nugget of wisdom: if someone wants to play Pants Or No
Pants... always go with "No Pants."
Nice to see the time off hasn't dulled the comedy gold!
Oh, and before I forget: anyone who is at Alcatel-Lucent now has a new
email address. Please let me know that you'd still like to receive the
J&G and I'll make sure your new address is on the list!
Until next time,
Get with it man, it's the 70s!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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The Ontario government is now taking steps to "regulate" the practises
of "Traditional Chinese Medicine" and "Acupuncture". I can't say I'm
overjoyed. If there were any kind of evidence that these practises were
in some way functional, we would have studies showing such. As it is,
all of the studies I can find on Acupuncture clearly demonstrate that a
"real" acupuncturist poking you with needles is no better than a placebo
consisting of a convincing charlatan poking you with needles.
The defenders of "TCM" and Acupuncture are more than willing to regale
you with stories of people who were miraculously cured of various aches
and pains by needle poking and herbs. What they aren't willing to tell
you is how many people have tried acupuncture and failed to get any
satisfactory result. They won't tell you that because they can't. They
have no idea. The pro-acupuncture crowd simply repeats the stories of
the people who had their pain reduced. What about the people whose pain
would have gone away all by itself? What about the people who ended
dying of the actual disease that was causing the pain?
Just because B happened after A doesn't mean that B was caused by A. We
have scientific methods involving rigorous application of statistics
that will tell us if there really is a correlation. One-off stories are
irrelevant.
There's also the argument that TCM and Acupuncture have been around for
"5000 years" and therefore there must be something to them. Let's think
of some other ideas that have been around for 5000 years: tree worship;
flat earth; earth-centred universe; dragons; unicorns; women as
chattel. "5000 years" isn't an argument, it's a rationalization. If
your belief has merit, then that merit can certainly be shown in a
properly conducted study. You shouldn't have to reach for "lots of
people think so" or "people have thought so for a long time."
The real danger is that people with serious problems will take those
problems to these practitioners. Those people will be deluded in to
thinking that their very real problems have gone away while they
actually get worse. Then the scientifically based medical system will
have to deal with the problem much later ... perhaps much too late.
A last, and most regrettable argument, is that a treatment is effective
as long as it makes the patient feel better. Sadly, no. While this may
apply to stomach aches or minor headaches, it doesn't apply to real
problems. You expanding tumour, metastasising cancer and your kidney
stone will kill you just as dead, regardless to your sunny disposition.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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The Ten Commandments Of Euchre
==============================
1. Thou shalt not pass a biddable hand.
2. Thou shalt counteth upon thy partner for one trick.
3. Thou shalt not trumpeth thy partner's ace.
4. Thou shalt trumpeth thy partner's king.
5. Thou shalt leadeth trump to thy partner's order.
6. Thou shalt not leadeth trump to thine opponent's order.
7. When thou hath ordered trump, leadeth thy right bower to smite
thy foes.
8. Ordereth not the right bower unto thy partner's hand unless thou
canst go alone.
9. Goeth alone whenever thou canst, unless thy team hath eight or
nine points.
10. Thou shalt not complaineth about the cards the Lord thy Euchre
God hath bestowed upon ye.
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Two Drunken Ladies
==================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Sweaty Chain Gang
Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a Girls
Night Out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.
Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone or something.
The first woman had nothing to dry herself with she thought she'd take
off her panties, use them, and then threw them away.
Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and
didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from
a wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the
ribbon.
The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and
said, "This girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife
came home last night without her panties."
"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came home with a card
stuck to her bottom that said 'FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION,
WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.'"
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)
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