Secretly hidden away beneath stately Wayne Manor, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Term XLII, Issue 08 (#217)
Weather outlook:
More jank than you can shake a stick at.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Will all the hub-bub of the election that happened in the States this
week, I hope people don't forget we've got municipal elections coming up
this coming Monday. That's right! All the fun of big time politics,
but with less hate!
Ah, who am I kidding.
All the shenanigans happen on Monday, November 13. Bitter, angry
recounts to follow.
Until next time,
Not so fast, sunshine!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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On Tuesday, the Americans held an election. Their system of government,
mildly more complicated (and considerably more influenced by lobbying
cash), held two important levels of election.
The Senate, a law-making body of 100 senators, elected one third of its
members. The House of Representatives, with considerably more members,
flushed itself clean and elected some 435 members. Both of these levels
of government were controlled by the party of George Bush, the party
that calls itself Republican. Both of these levels of government are
now in the control of the Democrats, the part they call "left wing" in
the United States, but would be called "right wing" anywhere else in the
world. It only appears "left" relative to what we in Canada would call
the "extreme right" of the Republicans.
What does this mean? Technically speaking, it's going to make things
harder for Bush. Where before the Republican House and Senate would
vote on laws and Bush would sign them, those two bodies will now produce
"left-leaning" Democratic legislation, which the President can always
veto (requiring a larger majority to override the veto). So we should
all dance in the streets, right? No more unilateral invasions of random
countries? No more Haiti, Iraq, Afghanistan? We'll have less combative
policies out of the U.S. regarding North Korea, Iran? We'll have fewer
wars over hydrocarbons?
No.
Left and right are all matters of degree. In Canada, we have
Conservatives, whom we expect to represent the interests of fairly rich
people and corporations. We have Liberals, whom we expect to represent
the middle class workers, but who increasingly represent rich people as
well. We have the NDP, whom we expect to represent the working class.
In the U.S., it's not the same. The Republican party represents the
extraordinarily rich, the CEOs - the richest of the rich whom George
Bush calls his "base". The Democrats represent, actually, almost the
exact same people, all they do get the support of trade unions and other
organizations on the basis that they're not quite as bad as the Republicans.
But look at the facts: most Democrats voted for the war in Iraq; no
Democrat has come out against it; when Clinton was president, he
maintained the debilitating, starving sanctions in Iraq and approved the
invasion of Kosovo. If you're expecting massive change, don't look
here. Don't expect any attempt to disengage the North American mouth
from the Middle Eastern oil teat. Don't expect to see all those
permanent bases in Iraq pull up stakes. Oh, there'll be a bone thrown
to the poor - an increase in the minimum wage. There'll be some window
dressing regarding 9/11. But will the black site prisons in Eastern
Europe be shut down? Will the prisoners in Gitmo get their trials?
Will the torture stop at Abu Ghraib? Will the "Oil Exploration" welfare
be diverted to research in to solar and wind power?
Of course not. The two parties in the United States are owned by,
basically, the same groups of people - oil barons and arms
manufacturers. The Democrats won't be as bad, but don't expect massive
change.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Praying Parrots
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Thanks to unflinching J&G reader R.P.
A woman talks to her priest after services one day and says, "Father, I
have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to
say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest enquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment.
"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two
male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage
with Frank and Jacob. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and
worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As
he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their
cage, holding rosary beads and apparently praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After
a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: "Hi, we're
hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence shocked, one male parrot looked over at the
other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our
prayers have been answered!"
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)
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