Former leg-breaker for the mob, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Term XLII, Issue 01 (#210)
Weather outlook:
The crap before the crap.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Welcome to Fall 2006, the term you thought would never arrive. And here
it is: fresh from a fabulous summer, full of fun, sun and intermittent
Juice and Gin issues. Ah, smell the freshness.
The Pool League is up and running once again, starting another
action-packed season of blazing billiard, um, action. Get in on the
ground floor where you don't have to walk up all those tiring stairs.
Pictures from the Pool League's fabulous Summer 2006 Tournament are up,
with the BBQ soon to follow. Then you'll see all the fun you missed out
on. I don't want to have to remind you that there were bongos this
time. Will there be bongos next time? Can you really afford to take
that chance?
We're also introducing some exciting, new rules to speed up game play
and increase spectator appreciation. Just like those new NHL rules,
except with larger shin-pads. More information, just as confusing, in
the Ongoing Events section.
Until next time,
Floor waxer! What are you doing?! I AM YOUR MASTER!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
Additional Rule on Loss-Of-Game:
When a player loses the game, they then have an opportunity to pocket
the remaining balls if there are four (4) or more of their balls on the
table (i.e., they have three (3) points or less). Each additional ball
potted counts as one-half (0.5) points. If the player misses the shot,
scratches, or the object ball goes into a pocket other than the
nominated pocket, the round ends.
For example, Player A defeats Player B with a score of 10 to 2. Player
B then begins play from where the cue ball ended with Player A's last
shot (pocketing the 8-Ball). Player B sinks three balls and then misses
the next shot. The final score for the round is 10 to 3.5.
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Photographia *
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New pictures this week:
* Pool League Summer 2006 Tournament
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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I'm going to stray way, way off the topic of current events (haven't you
heard enough about the Middle East anyway?) and in to one of my own
favourite realms.
It came up on youtube.com, a purveyor of .... well ... whatever the hell
video you upload, that a video called "Atheist" became immensely popular
and then suddenly disappeared from the most-viewed list. Conspiracy was
presumed but unproven. The video made a couple of simple, but
apparently very upsetting statements, regarding atheism. The first was
that an atheist is a person who doesn't believe in any gods. There were
quotes from the bible, where it is stated that atheists are, by their
nature, "fools" and "evil". This was followed by a list with images of
nice, smart atheists.
The reply videos were entertaining, if nothing else can be said of
them. The best contained the most common of flawed premises: the
redefinition of atheism. For some reason, among those who are not
atheists, it is more convenient to label an atheist as "one who denies
the existence of God".
While these definitions seem similar, there's a glaring gap in the logic
between them.
If you flip a coin and hide the result from me, you might ask "Do you
believe I flipped heads?". I can answer to this question, "No". You
might then state, "Ah, then you believe I flipped tails." I would then
say, "No, I don't believe that either."
That is the key difference between the two. The definition that
atheists use for atheism is, "I do not believe your proposition that god
exists". The believer then says, "Ha, you therefore believe that there
is no god. Now prove it!" This always leads to a hearty laugh from the
atheist who invites the believer to prove unicorns don't exist. The
believer gets offended, because the atheist is being a bit of a prick,
and goes off in a huff. The point, however, is that the atheist never
claimed to know that god doesn't exist, only that he didn't see any
reason to think so.
I'm not sure how this definition problem happens, but I can make some
educated guesses.
The first guess is that "the dictionary says so". Various dictionaries
have various definitions and the writers of said dictionaries have their
own biases. Some have one definition. Some have the other. Mind you,
a definition of atheism that says, "denial of god's existence" is rather
like an unheard of definition of christianity as, "belief in
mythology". It assumes the person being defined to be wrong.
Presumably we only do this to atheists on account of atheism being quite
in the minority.
The second guess is a matter of logical consistency. When confronted
with a demand for evidence of what is gathered from faith, the believer
prefers to put the non-believer on the same ground. If an atheist can
be defined as a person who says, "there is no god", it can then be
demanded of the atheist that he produce evidence. Then we get the
prickish bit about the unicorns.
(And no, that's not an agnostic. "Agnostic" means something else
entirely and every dictionary I've ever checked agrees at least on that
point.)
So, there you go. Atheism just means "not believing", not "believing in
the opposite". Come on over. We have lower divorce and incarceration
rates, no holy days to get you out of bed on the weekend, and you get a
10% discount on drinks at all casinos and strip joints (when you show
your card).
Greg.
The video:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-CI3TJsz8P0
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Game Over, Man!
===============
Thanks to Greg G. @ Alcatel
When coin-ops get way too real.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s3sLX8dvNw
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Zen For Modern Times
====================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Spiritual Comedy Hut
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
12. If always you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)
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Copyright (c) 2001, 2006 N.U.T.S. All rights reserved.