NUTS: Juice And Gin Issue

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Much the same experience as driving an upright piano, it's...

T H E   J U I C E   A N D   G I N

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Term XLI, Issue 08 (#202)

Weather outlook:
Mildly suspicious.


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* Contents *
************

- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info


******************
* Editor's Blurb *
******************

Hey all

Yee-har, back to Wednesdays.  One more week like this and we'll have
returned to our standard Tuesday night haunt.  But really, how likely is
that going to happen?  Exactly.

And after last week's spectacularly plentiful issue, we're left with
pretty much crap.  But feel free to check out this week's Pool League
statistics.  Or old issues of the J&G.  Those are always fun.

They can't be gems every week kiddies.  Otherwise you'd get spoiled.

Until next time,

You've got to grab the horn by the horns.

Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)

And now, the rest of the story...


******************
* Ongoing Events *
******************

[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]

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Pool League
===========
Mondays

http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)

View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html

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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays

Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)

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******************************
* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
******************************

So the "Occupation" in Caledonia has ended.

By "Occupation", of course, we're referring to the bit where the natives
were blocking off bits of the land that we took from them.  Their
argument was that, though they ceded many of their lands to the Canadian
government via treaty, this particular piece of land was still theirs
and the city had no business building a subdivision on it.

Acrimony and enmity followed.  A bit of miscellaneous violence (how did
a U.S. Border Patrol vehicle get hijacked?) ensued.  Eventually, with no
help from the federal government - which should be handling Indian
Affairs, after all - the province bought off the developer while the
land dispute issue is being settled.  It's an eminently sensible thing
to do, given the amount of economic damage the whole blockade was
causing.  No one has to get shot, or run over, or beaten up.  We just
handle it like civilized human beings.

Almost.

I'm usually impressed by the civility of the general Canadian populace
when it comes to issues like these.  We can accept gay marriage.  We'd
rather pay for education with taxes than with cash.  We're against
capital punishment etc. etc.  I was pretty shocked, though, when I
started reading online commentary about the standoff.

Native Indians are apparently a bunch of lazy welfare bums leeching off
our tax dollars.  That's not very intelligent.  Let's move on to the
next post.  "There go those liberals again, throwing money at the
problem".  I see, moving on.  "Indians are just a burden on our
government.  Make them work for our money."  Right.  "Send in the
military and kick these 'warriors' (louts) out of there".

I went along looking for some intelligent response.  Something about
"land claims" and "treaty violations" or maybe "apartheid", "racism" or
"assimilation".  I had to wade through 30 ignorant posts before I hit on
a guy who pointed out that, perhaps, the Indians had a legitimate claim
and were pressing it through the time-honoured democratic tradition of
public protest.  That poster had, if I may stereotype, a very foreign
sounding name.  Perhaps he came from a place where people are more aware
of their political surroundings.  Perhaps he had experienced some form
of discrimination.

But ignorance can only be cured with education.  So here's some
education for all those who wag the "lazy Indian welfare bum" finger.
Indians aren't allowed to work.  They're allowed to farm.  That's it.
They could conceivably run 1-900 phone sex lines, IT consultancy and
legal firms, and a few other types of businesses.  But they're not
allowed to manufacture anything on their reserves.  The industries that
provide the soul of most cities are forbidden.  That's part of the
Indian Act.  If you're going to accuse them of  "not working", you'll
have to remember that it was us, Canadians, who decided to tell them
what type of work we wanted from them and then confine them to lands
that wouldn't necessarily support such work.

Agriculture or nothing.  That was deal for our Indians.  It's 1840.
Here's a cow, here's a plough.  If you want to do anything else, you'll
have to leave the reserve (which was our real goal).  Once you've all
left the reserve, we can have your land.  Meanwhile, we'll let the water
get poisoned, move you around at will, and slowly take the land away
from you anyway.

This system is broken.  Generation after generation of natives are being
punished but have committed no crime.  They teach their children to
treasure the land they still have and so those children cling to it, but
we give them no way to maintain that land and have employment,
opportunity and dignity.  The rules and regulations which we have
historically used to deny them their status on the reserve only make the
situation worse.

As for the rest of you:  if you're going to start levelling accusations
at our native population for their laziness and dependency, you'd best
start reading the history of the Indian Act.  Dependency is a two-way
street, and we've done more than just "enable" this situation.  Our
governments have historically encouraged this misery in order to seize
even more of their land.

Greg.

[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]


**********
* Humour *
**********

[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]

[Disclaimer:  The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians.  Viewer
discretion is advised.  --Ed.]

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Travelling Through Customs
==========================
Thanks to Linda G.'s International Comedy System

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the
priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"

"Of course.  What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair remover that is well over
the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it.  Is there any
way you could carry it through Customs for me?  Under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you:  I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you
have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvellous little instrument designed to be used on a woman,
but which is, to date, unused."

The official said, "Go ahead, Father."

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****************
* General Info *
****************

Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca

The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)

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