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A nice mixture of helpful do-it-yourself tips and uncontrolled swearing,
it's...

T H E   J U I C E   A N D   G I N

Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Term XLI, Issue 01 (#195)

Weather outlook:
I don't trust it.


************
* Contents *
************

- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info


******************
* Editor's Blurb *
******************

Hey all

Welcome to Summer 2006!  Even though it's still spring, we'll count this
as summer since it's just nicer that way.  And remember, Summer's just
another name for "it's all downhill from here."

The answer to last week's unanswerable question ("Which week is the
start of the new term?") finally has an answer.  It's this week, mostly
because I remembered to bump up the Term Number and reset the Issue
Number back to zero at the top of the newsletter.  And nothing
can officially be considered to begin anew unless someone turns over a
counter.

The Pool League has finished another fine season, with the next one at
the gate read to get started.  From the Pool League mailing list, here's
a wrap up of the final tournament:

> This last week was the end of Winter tournament and I'm happy to pass on
> congratulations to Mike H. for emerging victorious at the end of the
> night.  Andy put up a good fight but Mike managed to fight his way
> through to the final and then beat Andy in two series to eliminate him.
>
> Normally we have a week or two off between terms but since the
> tournament was already pushed back a week and we all want keep playing,
> we're going to start up the Summer session right away.
>
> So tell your friends and come on out. We start up again this Monday, May
> 8th, at the Cue and Cushion on Bank St. at 7:00pm.  Hope to see you all
> there.


See the ongoing events section for a slightly more expansive description
of the Pool League and how to get involved.

Until next time,

I never trusted radishes; now I know why.

Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)

And now, the rest of the story...


******************
* Ongoing Events *
******************

[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pool League
===========
Mondays

The Pool League!

Where: Cue N Cushion Billiards (319 Bank Street)
Directions: Bank and MacLaren street.  2nd floor of building, take the
stairs up.

When: Monday nights at 7:00 pm (6:45 pm to warm up and practise)
Cost: $4 per person for the whole night
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)

This is a very social 8-ball billiards league that plays every Monday
night.  The goal is to have fun and hopefully improve your game.

Players are divided into tiers depending on their own skill level.  How
well you do over the course of several weeks determines the tier in
which you play so that you compete against people of the same ability.

There is no obligation to play every week; players can come out when
it's convenient for them.  But the more times out the better your
overall ranking will be (and help improve your skill level!).

Every Thursday or Friday, an email is sent out to everyone on the
mailing list reminding them that there is a game coming up on Monday.
Players are asked to respond if they are attending or not, to help the
organiser gauge how many people will be playing to plan tiers and the
number of tables required.

And if you participate in half of the games in the term, you receive
free entry into the End-of-Term Tournament (playing for great prizes)
and access to the celebration party afterwards.

http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)

View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays

Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


******************************
* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
******************************

Special Budget Edition.

Pre-Budget Release Thoughts:

You'd think that, if I were writing about the federal budget, I'd wait
until the whole thing was released.  I don't think I really have to,
though, because I'm not overly interested in the actual details of the
budget.  Look for some cash giveaways in the form of tax cuts.  Look for
some rather large corporate tax cuts tucked away in there somewhere.
They'll probably reduce the GST by one percent, perhaps at the expense
of that income tax cut.

None of these things, individually, is important.  In fact, even
collectively, they don't form the crux of anything important.

That's why I feel comfortable writing most of this article before I even
see the budget.

No.  The matter that I find most annoying is this part where a minority
government has slapped together a take-it-or-leave-it package.
Admittedly, in years gone by, we've rather apathetically accepted the
idea that a party receiving 40% of the vote will get 60% of the seats
and therefore govern as if it received 100% of the population's support.
This is wrong on the face of it, but it's what we've dealt with for years.

In this instance, however, the Conservatives received thirty-something
percent of the vote, about 40% of the seats, and are writing a budget
that everyone else in Parliament must accept or "be responsible for
another election".  How exciting!  Play by our rules or we're taking the
ball and going home.  If you'll recall, the Liberals were at least
bright enough to attempt to bring one of the other parties in to the
budget making process so as to make it a reasonable approximation of
that for which Canadians had voted.  When that fell through, they picked
another party with which to side and crafted a different compromise.

Not the Conservatives, apparently.  You're either with them or against
them.  Even minority budgets are binary, now.  The Liberals have as much
as said that they won't be propping up the Conservatives, claiming that
since the NDP and Bloc took the government down, it's the NDP and Bloc's
responsibility to prop the new government up.  I can't see the NDP
signing on to a Conservative budget though, even if a few dollars are
thrown in for social programs.

Fresh Update:

So the budget came in as expected.  The NDP and Liberals refuse to back
it, leaving the Bloc to hold the government together.  $1200 for every
child under five (or was it six?).  The low bracket of income tax will
rise by half of a percent, half way through the year (what a brilliant
gift to complicate payroll).  The GST will drop by a percent half way
through the year.

Mostly what I see is the "do it yourself" version of conservatism.  We
won't lower the cost of education, but we'll give a tax break to those
who can afford to go anyway.  We won't provide daycare, but we'll send
you a tiny fraction of what it will cost you.  We'll take millions of
dollars away from programs designed to find ways to stop pollution, but
we'll give tiny tax credits to people who take the bus.

I'm a socialist.  You should all have that figured out by now.  I
believe that certain things (health care, education, environmental
conservation, corporate watchdogging) are most fairly and most
efficiently done when they are done collectively.  It is not accepted to
assign each person a tiny bit of bus riding instead of spending the
millions of dollars necessary to develop alternative energy sources.

It simply doesn't work as well and it's what this budget is full of.

Greg

[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]


**********
* Humour *
**********

[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]

[Disclaimer:  The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians.  Viewer
discretion is advised.  --Ed.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

American Law-Enforcement Competition
====================================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Cross-Border Sandwich-Swap Programme

The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD were invited to send a team to a national
competition.  Their teams were assembled at the edge of a forest, and
told to go in one at a time and try to find a rabbit within six hours.

The CIA team went first.  After six hours, they reported their
conclusion:  that rabbits do not exist.

Then, the FBI went in.  After six hours, they asked for more time.  Four
hours later, they reported that the rabbit had apparently fled the
forest two hours ago.

Finally, the LAPD had their turn.  In forty minutes, they dragged a
bleeding bear out of the forest.  The bear kept yelling, "OK, OK, I'm a
rabbit!  Stop hitting me!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


****************
* General Info *
****************

Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca

The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)

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