A fully-functioning time-travelling device made out of plywood, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Term XL, Issue 11 (#188)
Weather outlook:
A taunting glimpse of warmth is better than nothing.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Some of you may have noticed the slight degradation in quality in the
special good-time fun Humour section as of late. This is primarily due
to the precipitous drop in number of submissions that come in through
the suggestion box here at J&G HQ. And Linda G. can only do so much.
So now it's back to desparate measures, like asking the readership.
Don't make me go back in the archives to recycle material. Because I
will. It's happened before.
Until next time,
Don't.. praise.. the.. machine!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Dave and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
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Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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So my favourite Prime Minister went to Afghanistan. I can't decide
whether or not to criticize him for that. On the one hand, I can see
the value in a leader going to visit the troops to see what his orders
are putting them through. Fair enough. On the other hand, it's a bit
of a photo op.
No, I'm more concerned with a much more worrisome angle. He goes to
visit the troops just days after Bush leaves. He announces that he
doesn't want to "cut and run" because that isn't "the Canadian way". He
talked about supporting the troops and the mission. Regarding
casualties, the Globe and Mail reported a response.
"It will be a factor," he acknowledged, but he added that casualties
"don't necessarily mean failure. In fact, they may really be the
beginning of the end of military conflict."
This is so disturbingly Bush-like that I can't believe he would say
things like this. So the more of our people die, the better we're
doing? This echoes the excuses for the worsening situation in Iraq so
well that it gives me shivers. What next? If he hoists up a "Mission
Accomplished" banner and declares himself a "War Prime Minister" I
think I'll have to scream.
It's not just Bush-bashing that I'm after here. It's the utter illogic
of the situation. Look, I love my country. If I didn't, I would move.
But I can't stand the towering stupidity of using patriotism and
accusations of cowardice to stop people from asking important questions.
For example, try asking, on September 12, 2001, what possible grievances
someone would have that would cause them to destroy the World Trade
Centers. The response is: "How dare you ask such a question? You
think those people deserved to die? You terrorist sympathizer!!" No
one is sympathizing with mass murderers, but it's stupid not to examine
their motives. That's called "crime solving": method, opportunity, motive.
In Afghanistan, we have the same situation. Let's be honest, the place
has been turned in to a hell hole. With the fall of the Taliban, opium
production has spiked. Though the Taliban were horrid in terms of
women's rights, they at least protected their "property." Now there is
no protection. Outside of Kabul and Kandahar, the warlords are in
control. There are real humanitarian problems in Afghanistan.
North of Afghanistan, in Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and other areas, lies
the largest untapped reserve of oil in the world. Unocal has been
working on bringing pipelines through Afghanistan (a necessary link)
down to Pakistan and to the Arabian Sea for shipment. This work has
been going on for years. Hamid Karzai, Afghanistan's President, used to
work for Unocal, curiously enough.
http://www.unocal.com/uclnews/96htm/110496.htm
So now we have some questions.
Why are we in Afghanistan? The people of Canada will support a
humanitarian mission aimed at eliminating the cruelty of the warlords
borne of the Soviet/American proxy war in the 1980s. The people of
Canada will not support a mission to protect the area around a proposed
Unocal pipeline.
Do the operations conducted by our fighting men and women match with the
previous answer? If we draw a map of Afghanistan and mark out our
actual operational theatre, is it a straight line from Uzbekistan and
Turkmenistan down to Pakistan? Does it match with the goal of an
improvement in living conditions for Afghanis?
But what does Mr. Harper have to say? "It's not this government's
intention to question this mission when our troops are in danger and a
debate -- any lack of resolve by any Canadian party -- will weaken our
troops and has the possibility of putting our troops in more danger."
Yeah. Read it again. No debate is to be allowed once our leader has
made the decision. I don't remember a debate beforehand either.
These are questions we have to ask unless we want to see ourselves and
our tax dollars used for the growth of an empire at the muzzle of a gun.
No amount of flag waving, no accusations of cowardice, can be allowed
to hinder us when we demand that our military is sent on ethical
missions and our government guarantee that the missions remain in line
with our values.
Greg.
Links:
Map of Pakistan, showing Afghanistan and Uzbekistan to the North:
http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/middle_east_and_asia/pakistan_pol_2002.jpg
Harper on why we shouldn't debate the war in Afghanistan:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20060308.wxafghan08/BNStory/Afghanistan/home
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Down At The Retirement Centre
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Thanks to Linda G.'s Funny Dump
80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She
holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess
what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"
An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"
Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."
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Senior Driving
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Thanks to Linda G.'s Plastic Comedy Roundabout
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/ (for people within Alcatel)
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