Babbling like a two-year-old on a sugar bender, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Term XL, Issue 7 (#184)
Weather outlook:
Continual crap.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Happy 4th Annual Love Squall Day. Has it been four years already?
Where does the time go? Apparently down a sink hole somewhere never to
be seen again. And if you're not celebrating Love Squall Day, you're
just doing it wrong.
The other day I was at the Wal-Mart looking to pick some replacement
wiper blades for my car, since they're starting to degrade in
performance. Normally I wouldn't shop at the Wal-Mart, but until that
Superstore opens up in Kanata, it looks like I'm stuck. But that's
neither here nor there. Anyway, looking through the replacement wiper
guidebook (irrevocably chained to the shelving unit by some light gauge
string) to find the size blade appropriate for my ride, I passed a
section marked "Ferrari." Because we all know that anyone who needs
finely made, hand-crafted replacement parts for expensive, imported
Italian automobiles shops at Wally-World.
And one last congratulations to Pool League co-operator Larisa who
recently became engaged. Ain't that sweet.
And that's the way things was.
Until next time,
Today your love, tomorrow... THE WORLD!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Larisa and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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I'm finding this whole thing a little weird.
Now, as anyone who has studied history, frankly examined politics, or
has a pulse would know, politicians come in with rosy promises of
"cleaning up" and "honesty" and "integrity" and then collapse in a pile
of arrogance and infidelity.
Normally, this process takes five to ten years. It's the basic reason
the American government had to implement term limits. Eight years as a
president would make a crook out of a saint. We don't have such a limit
in Canada, but maybe we need one.
Stephen Harper (our new Prime Minister -- you've been paying attention,
right?) and his party ran on a platform of cleaning up government. Most
of their right wing agenda had to be dropped -- at least in public -- so
they could garner enough votes out of the centre. No amount of
promising to clean up Liberal malfeasance was going to put a
gay-bashing, death penalty imposing, right wing party led by Preston
Manning's accent. Not in Ontario, at any rate. So Harper and his
boys (109) and girls (14) shifted their campaigns to the centre and we
gave them enough votes with which to hang themselves.
And hang they did. Or at least *he* did. It's clear that the whole
party is not behind him on this.
The first thing Harper does is appoint someone to the Senate. You read
that right: the guy who wants to abolish the Senate and/or turn it in
to an elected body just appointed someone to it for his own political
purposes. The argument he is making is that, without this Senator,
Montreal wouldn't be represented in his cabinet. How unfortunate for
him. That does not, however, give him the right to break a promise and
cheat like that. Play the hand you're dealt. No fair taking cards off
the bottom of the deck.
The next thing he does is to steal a Liberal MP who won a riding in
Vancouver. The argument, again, is that Vancouver needed representation
in the Harper cabinet. Let us go back now and frankly examine the nasty
things said about Belinda Stronach when she switched parties:
"whoring... harlot" and a "ditz" who was too "simple" to understand the
"nuance" of politics. But it's acceptable when the Conservatives
subvert someone a few days after the election? Right.
So one count of cheating and another of hypocrisy.
The frightening thing about all of this is not that the Conservatives
are breaking promises. We Canadians, in our apathetic political state,
expect this kind of crap. The frightening part is that this was all
done the *day they took office*. They hadn't even started governing
yet, and they're already showing themselves as untrustworthy.
My minds reels trying to imagine analogies, especially given that I
didn't like the Conservatives in the first place.
It's like being forced to marry a woman you impregnated but don't like
anymore. Then, during the honeymoon, you walk in on her shagging the
pool boy as your brother calls you on the cell phone to tell you that it
might be his kid after all.
Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe I'm not. But think about it.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Where Are You From?
===================
Thanks to Linda G.'s East Coast Dance Party
A woman from the Maritimes and another from the West coast were seated
side-by-side on an airplane. The woman from the Maritimes, being
friendly and all, said "So, where are you from?"
The West coast woman said, "From a place where they know better than to
use a preposition at the end of a sentence."
The woman from the Maritimes sat quietly for a few moments and then
replied "So, where are you from, bitch?"
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I Can Hear Just Fine
====================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Geriatric Comedy Playhouse
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied. "It's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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