Awash in post-election paranoia, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Term XL, Issue 4 (#181)
Weather outlook:
More junk snow. Unless you that's what you were hoping for.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
So there you go, the electorate has spoken. After a bitter, angry
campaign with lots of finger pointing and allegations of impropriety,
it's finally over. And the results are in: the Juice and Gin has a
strong mandate to produce two more years of crap. And that's political
capital that is meant to be spent. Too bad it was traded in last year
for beer money.
I hope everyone enjoyed that fiasco we lovingly refer to as a federal
election. And if you think I'm making light of the electoral process,
you don't read the J&G that often. Or that closely. Which is probably
why we don't get the angry protest letters that we so desperately crave.
And after all that... once again, I find that I live in the wrong riding
for my political views. Let's hope you fared better.
Does anyone remember a time when this actually contained information on
upcoming events? Those were good times.
Until next time,
Slappy is upset enough already.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Larisa and Michael (pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursdays
Contact: Andrew (akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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DTK
Looking at the makeup of today's Parliament, I'm going to have to say
that this is probably the best that we could expect.
Conservatives: 124
Liberals: 103
Bloc: 51
NDP: 29
Independent: 1
Point #1: The Liberals have been punished and Martin is gone as
leader. Perhaps they can now choose a leader who isn't a
multi-millionaire with a history of avoiding taxes and labour laws by
changing the flags on his ships. They'll probably pick Stronach instead.
Point #2: The Conservatives are a good distance away from a majority.
I don't really care for Stephen Harper's social agenda, financial agenda
or foreign policy but the fact of the matter is that Canadians have just
voted for a conservative financial agenda and that's what we're going to
get from the Liberals and Conservatives. Look for those two parties to
vote for lots of military spending, tax cuts favouring the well to do
(corporations and people with incomes over $200 000) and probably some
deficit spending. On the other hand, the Conservatives won't be able to
work any of their social agenda. No outlawing of gay marriage. No
hindrances to abortion and emergency contraception. No participation in
the invasion of as part of the War on an
Abstract Noun.
Point #3: More NDP guys. You know that this makes me happy. The
Conservatives will have some difficulty doing anything outrageous in
terms of their agenda as long as the Bloc and NDP hold so many seats as
a progressive force in parliament.
Point #4: Less Bloc guys. I like Canada. As progressive as the Bloc
are, they're also a mainly separatists, so it's nice to see them knocked
down a peg.
Point #5: Why did the people in Montreal elect a weird-ass Howard Stern
type? Protest vote gone too far?
I won't pretend it's great, but it should work. The number of
progressive people in parliament will keep us out of foreign
entanglements and keep our social agenda in order. We're going to get
some tax cuts that benefit people more in the upper class than the
lower, but as long as the media pays attention, we should be able to
keep the Conservative party from running up a deficit. The
Conservatives, meanwhile, will probably have a chance to try out some of
their pet "private health care" projects and we can all see what happens
before engraving them indelibly upon our nation.
Weariness will cause the various MPs to work well together for some time
yet, but the vast gulf that lies between the right wing government and
the left wing majority will force a new election in due time.
As I like to say at weddings: "I give it two years, max."
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Chilly Beach's Canadian Trivia
==============================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Patriotic Party Machine
Test your knowledge of Canadian Trivia and try to score a few goals
while you're at it.
http://www.cbc.ca/chillybeach/trivia/trivia26.swf
(Flash presentation)
The questions are random, so feel free to play more than once.
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Tell Me This Won't Happen To Us
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Thanks to Linda G.'s Geriatric Fun House
An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car
has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation
to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the
brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard," he says. "She
got in the back seat by mistake."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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