Wafting in on a magic carpet from far in the East, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Term XXXIX, Issue 13 (#176)
Weather outlook:
Now the cold sets in.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Can you believe it's December already? Soon it'll be Christmas. Then
2006. Then the world will blow up in a puff of smoke. But you already
knew that.
There will only be one more edition of the Juice and Gin for 2005, known
to you and some of me as "next week." Not that there's going to be a
whole lot of extra content for you to look forward to, but feel free to
get your hopes up. My holiday gift to you will be two weeks without
this newsletter cluttering up your email inbox. After that, all bets
are off!
Until next time,
Alf's back! In pog form.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
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Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Larisa and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursday evenings
Contact: Andrew (mailto:akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Photographia *
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In honour of the upcoming election, a politically-themed Punch of the
Week Classic. Ask for it by name.
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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So we have an election. The government suffers from a lack of
confidence and now we're campaigning in the middle of winter.
First of all, let's ditch all the B.S. about who is "at fault" for
calling this election over Christmas. Who cares? The government
couldn't function so it was time to make a new one. Forcing the
government to function when it didn't have majority support would have
been ridiculous. Besides that, the choice of your elected official
should not depend upon whom you think ruined your holiday.
Now let's look at platforms.
Stephen Harper (Conservative) came out with two major planks thus far.
Part one was "getting tough on crime". Indeed, this might be valid if
a) anyone was particularly concerned about crime or b) our crime rate
hadn't been continuously decreasing since 1991 (go to Stats Can, look it
up). But Stephen Harper wants to impose "mandatory minimum sentences"
and other nonsense which has never been shown to work. Plank number two
was a GST reduction of 2%. The problem with reducing sales taxes is
that this sort of "flat tax break" gives more money to the wealthy.
Philosophically, being on the left, I disagree with this vehemently.
Paul Martin (Liberal) wants to direct his tax break at the "middle
class". I'm not sure who that is, precisely, but he's still aiming too
high. Added to this platform is a bunch of stuff about health care,
daycare and "good governance". Seems to me his party has been in power
for ages and hasn't done any of that stuff so far. Not sure why I
should trust him.
Over to the NDP. I hate to inject a personal note here, but in spite of
my fondness for and bent towards socialism, there's something about Jack
Layton that just bugs me. Fakeness. He says a lot of the right things,
but he always seems scripted. But anyway, the platform: low income
housing; health care; education; environmental protection. All of them
things we need to be taking care of, and the NDP - in this past
parliamentary session - proved that they would stick to their promises.
They changed the course of the government away from corporate tax cuts
and towards socialist concerns. If only Layton didn't irk me so.
And the Green Party. Yes! The Green Party with its leader Jim Harris.
In the last election, they received 4.3% of the vote, yet they have no
representation in Parliament. In a Parliament with about 300 seats,
that should give 12 or 13 seats to the Greens, but our voting system
doesn't make room for representation proportional to voter preference.
Worse, the broadcasters who will be hosting the debates are apparently
refusing to give the Green Party any space in those debates. The
federal rule that any party reaching 2% of the nationwide vote should
receive Official Status and public funding is not enough to ensure a
place at the debate, even though almost 1 out of every 20 Canadians
think the Green Party belongs there.
Anyhow, if you want to read about the party's platforms, instead of
inane crap about how stiff Harper is or if people find Martin to be
forgivable, here ya go:
http://www.conservative.ca/
http://www.greenparty.ca/
http://www.liberal.ca/
http://www.ndp.ca/
Enjoy.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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A Christmas Story
=================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Holiday-Themed Sandwich Shop
'Twas the night before Christmas -- Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa" -- what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money -- The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes -- if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days -- they all are the pits
They want the impossible -- Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls... Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's -- No request for them,
They want computers and robots... they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air... dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year
Now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde.
I'm going SOUTH for the season!
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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