Unfettered through no fault of its own, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Term XXXIX, Issue 12 (#175)
Weather outlook:
Super screwy.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Not quire sure of what to make of a temperature of +17 degree this close
to December. This is what Christmas in Vancouver must be like.
But enough of the chit chat, onto the important news this week...
A big shout-out to our newest Juice and Gin reader, Dante, who was born
on November 22nd, a 3.1 kg, 53 cm all-metric baby. Also a hearty
congratulations to our own resident political troublemaker Greg G. (and
Carmen, who did all the hard work) for seeing how dangerously
underpopulated our country is and finally doing something about it.
Already having grappled the little tyke, I can vouch for the fact that
he packs a wicked right hook.
Take *that* Juice and Gin editor!
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
Until next time,
It's time to give thanks... Thanks.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/index.html#Monday
Contact: Larisa and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursday evenings
Contact: Andrew (mailto:akpallek$hotmail.com)
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* Photographia *
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Special Guest Punch of the Week this week.
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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Ah, I take a week off for the birth of my son and suddenly things start
happening: A prominent American senator is calling for the withdrawal
of troops from Iraq; the federal government loses a confidence vote;
Jessica and Nick split up.
And I know you're all sitting there, wondering aloud, "But what does
Greg think of this?" I'm sure it keeps you up nights. Not "wailing
infant" keep-you-up, but perhaps something along the lines of "being too
drunk to sleep."
So here's what I think. Jessica and Nick split up because she was
dumb. Any man can tolerate a hot chiquita for a while, but inevitably
the amusement of explaining shoe laces and toothpicks can wear thin.
Maybe he had his foibles too, but I tried very hard to completely ignore
the two of them and I could *still* see that she was a ditz.
Speaking of non sequiturs, it's a lot easier to write a column if you
don't have to keep running in to the next room to re-insert a pacifier.
Anyway. The american government is now on the long slow road to
realizing what the american people realized a long time ago: invading
Iraq was a mistake and making it go on longer only makes it worse.
Lastly I turn to our own upcoming federal election. Go figure, my kid's
2 month checkup will be the same day. I didn't even know there was an
election until I saw the signs all over the place, but at least it's
convenient. Did we need this election? Yes. The whole parliament is a
mess right now. It's difficult to tell what mandate has been given to
which group of people, what with the whole "money stealing" thing having
gone on. So let's have an election and let's send those buggers back to
parliament and make them work for their money.
That's right. I want another minority government. I'd like more NDP
and Green Party freaks and fewer conservative freaks, but that's just my
personal preference. I want a government made up of a wide spectrum of
Canadians and I want that government to make decisions for the benefit
of all of us: the trades; the professionals; the executives. I don't
want vote-splitting to cause 35% of Canadians to dictate to the rest of
us what happens via a "majority" government.
So send them back. Make them work. Tell them that no stupid scandal is
going to get them out of it this time around.
Excellent. He slept right through four whole paragraphs. For what more
could I ask?
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
[Disclaimer: The Humour Section may contain content that includes dirty
words, adult situations and jokes that make fun of politicians. Viewer
discretion is advised. --Ed.]
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Engineers And Managers
======================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Recycled Comedy Dump
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude
and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse
me can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You are in hot air balloon hovering
approximately 8 metres above the ground. You are between 40 to 41
degrees north latitude and between 59 to 60 degrees west longitude."
"Ah, you must be an engineer" said the balloonist.
"I am indeed" replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well" answered the balloonist, "Every thing you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of the information and the
fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."
The woman below responded "You must be in management."
"Yes, I am" replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You have risen to where you are due to large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you
expect people below you to solve your problem. The fact is you are in
exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, it's
my fault."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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