All the thrills and spills of freshwater fly-fishing from the comfort of
your own living room, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Term XXXVIII, Issue 18 (#163)
Weather outlook:
Swarthy.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Apparently the NUTS website hasn't been updated in a few weeks with the
latest editions of the Juice and Gin. And I know how everyone out there
just freaks out when you can't get your weekly fix. And heaven knows
how you're all holding up considering this week's edition is two days
late.
But rest assured that the last two issues are now up on the site (see,
persistent belligerence gets things done!). This fine edition that
you're quickly scanning through right now for swear words (CRAP!) will
appear shortly. And by that I mean probably late Friday morning. Or
next Monday. You know, when I get around to it. So give it about three
weeks.
In Ongoing Event news, our resident Spiderwoman Claire also wants it to
be known that Indoor Rock climbing has returned to it's old Thursday
night timeslot. Outasight.
The Pool League is back up and running as usual, without so much as a
break between the tournament and one practice day. Contact the pool
kids below to be put on the mailing list to receive a gently nagging
reminder that another Monday Pool Night is quickly approaching.
After reading the Humour section this week, you may be asking yourself
"What gives, Chachi?" since you call everyone Chachi now. The other
half of your brain may respond "Well, Wesley, very few people besides
Linda G. sends in jokes anymore. And even her sources are starting to
dry up. And when it gets dry it gets itchy." And then you go off on
strange tangents that even I don't want to delve into. But the moral of
the story is to keep those text jokes coming. People love the funnies.
Honestly, just send in whatever crap you've got. I don't care, as long
as it's quality. mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca. That's where it's at.
Next week... the new co-ops arrive. Perhaps they'll have active email
addresses by then.
And yes, I'm paid by the word.
Until next time,
Here Francis, I've got something for you. Merry Christmas!
A choo-choo train?
No, it's five pounds of veal.
But daddy, I asked Santa for a choo-choo.
Then go out and get a job and buy a choo-choo!
Ah, Earl, he's only four years old.
All day long I listen to people give excesses why they can't work! "My
back hurts." "My legs ache." "I'm only four!"
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
Back on track!
http://www.solutionsatsource.com/pool
Contact: Larisa and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursday evenings (** Day update **)
Contact: Claire (mailto:Claire.Mettier$alcatel.com)
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* Photographia *
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Holy crap! Pictures from the Pool League Post-Tournament Barbecue.
I've been hearing that some people can't view the pictures on the
external NUTS website. Anyone having a look at these pictures, send a
quick email to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca?subject=Pictures saying whether
you can view the images or not. Topcities might be choking on the
frames.
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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The Gaia Hypothesis.
It's a weak-kneed, airy-faery, new-age-crap concept that involves the
idea that the biosphere (all the living parts) of the planet are somehow
tied together, functioning effectively as a single organism. If you do
something weird to the planet, Gaia (a female sort-of-deity) will
compensate... somehow.
The idea of mother nature compensating for the things we do to her was,
and continues to be, a very popular idea with the oil tycoons and the
heavy polluting businesses. Don't worry, they tell us, the planet can
take care of itself. Global warming is just a myth concocted by radical
hippies with dreadlocks. You aren't a hippie, are you? You don't want
to be associated with people with dreadlocks!
Yeah, anyway.
The fact of the matter is that we are polluting our planet, it is
getting worse every year (as we burn more fossil fuels each year) and
we're doing very little to curb our excess consumerism.
But then comes a lady named Katrina. She rips a piece off of southern
tip of Florida, traipses over to Louisiana, sinks the city of New
Orleans, and shuts down -- this is the key -- several of the oil
refineries in the state.
This is where the Gaia bit develops in to a bit of dark humour. You see,
hurricanes are caused by the air currents coming off warm ocean water in
the Atlantic. The more global warming we have, the warmer that water
gets, the more hurricanes we get -- and the more violent those
hurricanes are.
You may have noticed when you got up this morning that gas had gone up
$1.20 per litre. That's no accident. Until the other north american
refineries kick it up a notch, there's a shortage of gasoline. Because
of that shortage, we will have less fossil fuels to burn and make fewer
contributions to global warming.
So you see, maybe there is something to this Gaia hypothesis. Maybe
she's trying to wipe us off the planet for her own health.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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The Compliment
==============
Thanks to Linda G.'s Water Polo Camp And Sausage Farm
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror and says to her
husband, "I look horrible, fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment."
He replies, "Your eyesight is damn near perfect."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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