The official operating manual for Starship Earth, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Term XXXVIII, Issue 14 (#159)
Weather outlook:
Back to the sweat.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
So who else completely forgot that even though Monday was a holiday, the
Juice and Gin is still supposed to go out Tuesday evenings? You can all
put your hands down now.
Okay, I've really got nothing this week. I mean less than usual, and
that's saying something. But really, I could just blather on and on,
filling sentence after sentence with pointless words that really say
nothing, but what would be the point of that? That's right: filler.
But just to make believe that I'm actually contributing something of
value here, I'll finish this week's Editor's Blurb with a pearl of
wisdom passed down through the ages, though countless generations:
"If you pick it, it won't heal."
Consider yourself enlightened.
Until next time,
Klaus, the piņata is leaking.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://www.solutionsatsource.com/pool
Contact: Jason and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Monday evenings some weekends
Contact: Claire (mailto:Claire.Mettier$alcatel.com)
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* Photographia *
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Okay, here's the skinny: the next few pictures in the Punch of the Week
collection are basically crap. So instead of disparaging the fine
reputation that POTW has gained, I'm going to dip into the archives for
a little bit of a "Best Of." A cop-out for sure, but it's better than
not having any new picture content. But I'll add some retroactive
commentary to at least make it look like there's some new content. It's
all about the "Added Value."
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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[Sorry kids, no DTK this week. Greg seems to be pulling his hair out
trying to understand why people still feel like it's a good idea to use
global variables and goto statements. I think he blew out a synapse,
and probably an important one. --Ed.]
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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In The Desert
=============
Thanks to Linda G.'s Comedy Dance Party
The new American Marine Captain was assigned to an Irish Regiment in a
remote post in the Lebanese desert. During his first inspection, he
noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the "Sergeant
why the camel is kept there?"
"Well, sir," is the nervous reply. "As you know, there are 250 men here
and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have... m-m-m.... urges.
That's why we have the camel sir."
The American Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I
understand about urges, so the camel can stay."
About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his
own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Irish Sergeant to bring the
camel to his tent. Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands
on it, pulls down his pants, and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he is done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the Irish do it?"
"Uh, no sir", the Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel
into town where the girls are."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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