Cheating death one more time, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Term XXXVIII, Issue 12 (#157)
Weather outlook:
Sweltering.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Quick intro this week, owing mostly to the general hustle and bustle of
the summer. (Oh, Lack of Content, WHY DO YOU MOCK ME?!?!) And until I
actually go and turn the Editor's Blurb into a kind of low rent DTK,
this is about how exciting it's going to get.
But if useless information you want, then here's one: The little dot
over the 'i' is called a "tittle." Now you know, and please stop
snickering. (Tee hee.)
Until next time,
It's not the fall that hurts; it's when you hit the ground.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://www.solutionsatsource.com/pool
Contact: Jason and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
View the current players' statistics at:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Monday evenings some weekends
Contact: Claire (mailto:Claire.Mettier$alcatel.com)
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* Photographia *
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More ass-kicking fun at the ranch....
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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Have you ever noticed how out of touch the media is with the population?
There's a growing concern among us whacked-out lefties that the media,
the government and the large corporations have formed a rather powerful
combination of mutual profiteering.
I realize that I run the risk of being called a conspiracy nut, but
you're still reading me after all these years, so you'll just have to
hear me out.
When they were tricking us in to signing NAFTA those many years ago,
damaging the ability of workers to unionize, permanently giving the U.S.
access to our oil reserves and making it illegal for one country to
protect itself against the carcinogenic products of another, polls
showed that most people were against NAFTA. Not one single media
outlet, however, television or newspaper, represented those people. No,
the media told us, the only people against NAFTA were those crude,
greedy union leaders who apparently were just being selfish (?). You,
NAFTA-opposing non-union-leader, don't exist.
Fast forward to the (we now know most assuredly) ill founded war in
Iraq. Owing to a well organized disinformation campaign, the Canadian
population was split fairly evenly on whether joining the coalition in
its invasion of Iraq was a good idea. But our newspapers: 100% behind
the war. The Globe and Mail, on the day of George Bush's "Mission
Accomplished" announcement even labelled Jean Chretien a "loser" in the
affair because he had failed to curry favour with the U.S.
administration. The Ottawa Citizen *still* thinks we should be in Iraq
(Well, they did the last time I checked. I'm losing my ability to stand
that paper).
That brings us, freshly up to date, to London, England. If you only
read the paper and listened to the news, you would be reassured
repeatedly that no one at all in England believes that the terror
attacks had anything to do with the UK's participation in the invasion
and occupation of Iraq. In fact, one MP had the gall to suggest it and
has been thoroughly beaten upon throughout the country. There's only
one problem: 75% of that MP's countrymen agree with him.
The media is made up of large corporations. Large corporations control
the governments through lobbying, and thereby secure laws to benefit
themselves. Governments, now thoroughly in bed with media corporations,
control the information you hear through those media.
Somehow, we hope, through all of that, people can still spot bullshit
when they see it. But our track record isn't all that great.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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Presidential Fun
================
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping
and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record
time!" the President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years,' but I did it in a month!"
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Black Eye
=========
Thanks to Linda G.'s Insane Comedy Whirligig
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He
notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye too. He
says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes! Mind
if I ask how you got yours?"
The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister
accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde
with one of the finest looking pair of breasts I've ever seen was there
so instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I
accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh.' So she socked
me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable, mine was a tongue
twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to
say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I
accidentally said, 'You ruined my life, bitch.'"
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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