World renowned master of the oblong balloon, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Term XXXVIII, Issue 8 (#153)
Weather outlook:
Meh.
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* Contents *
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- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Editorial
- Humour
- General Info
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* Editor's Blurb *
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Hey all
Due to a slight mix-up in communication signals, it looks like I
misrepresented the origin of last week's Minglewoods notice. Apparently
it was the work of those cheeky WatPub monkeys. And unfortunately, due
to our delayed publication schedule, it looks like I missed the notice
of this week's event, which is taking place Tuesday night. That makes
it either now, yesterday or last week, depending on when you get around
to cleaning out your inbox.
In self-referential news, it's starting to look like the Juice & Gin is
being vastly under-utilised by the very people it is intended to help.
That mean's you, Chester! This can be so much more than my personal
propaganda machine! It can't be yours too! Think of all the
possibilities! (Insert maniacal evil laughter #4 here)
But I digress...
Until next time,
It's not you, it's the E talking.
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
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* Ongoing Events *
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[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
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Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://www.solutionsatsource.com/pool
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
Contact: Jason and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
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Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursday evenings some weekends
Contact: Claire (mailto:Claire.Mettier$alcatel.com)
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* Photographia *
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Remember when this section used to contain information on actual event
pictures? Wow, that's going way back. But this is something, well,
else. And that counts for something.
In the meantime, the hits just keep on coming on...
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
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* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
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Now, I haven't always believed in equality of the sexes. There was a
time when, based on walking around my math class, I figured guys just
had more native ability with certain things than girls. A little
maturity and research eventually demonstrated that the causes are more
likely cultural than genetic. Simply put, little girls and little boys
are raised differently.
But then this comes along:
http://tinyurl.com/bw6ap
First of all, why didn't we do experiments like this in Canada when I
was in university?
But back to the topic...
What it basically says is that a woman needs to lose control of herself
in order to have an orgasm. In order to get to the state of orgasm, she
actually has to shut down most of her brain -- especially the part
governing fear and anxiety. So men are stupid as soon as they start
getting horny, and women get daft afterwards because their brains shut
down for a good two minutes or so.
We've probably all seen enough of this not to doubt it. If you haven't
witnessed the female side, I'm sorry, but you'll get there someday and
for now I'm sure you've witnessed men being stupid when they're horny.
In a way, it provides a way for a man to test for a real orgasm. Just
give her a simple arithmetic problem afterwards. That might be taken as
condescending, though.
But then it gets interesting.
"During orgasm, there was strong, enormous deactivation in the brain..."
Holstege said. He also said "The fact that there is no deactivation in
faked orgasms means a basic part of a real orgasm is letting go."
"Deactivation of these very important parts of the brain might be the
most important necessity for having an orgasm," he said.
Read those again, very carefully.
That's an interesting conclusion, isn't it? That a woman has to
surrender her fear, anxiety and *control of her body* in order to have
an orgasm? I can't help but wonder if the last remaining female readers
(there must be three or four of you left) of this column would like to
shake their fists at me, but I don't see any other viable conclusion to
what is being said here.
Who da man, indeed.
Unfortunately, it may not be precisely as the good doctor puts it.
Women, I've been told by reliable sources, can have orgasms from
masturbating. This seems to be a bit of a paradox, doesn't it? How
could you give up control of your body while continuing to stimulate it?
More research is obviously needed, and it obviously won't be done around
here because all of the cool stuff is discovered in tiny European
countries.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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* Editorial *
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[Culled from an internal newsgroup posting about shopping for a portable
MP3 player. I was originally going to put this in the humour section,
but it contains certain insights that are applicable to all kinds of
real-life situations. --Ed.]
-------- Original Message --------
[The thread began to move into a discussion comparing the technical
information printed on the player's packaging, including the
Signal-to-Noise ratio.]
Subject: Re: MP3 Player
Date: Fri, 17 Jun 2005 15:34:03 -0400
From: Ryan H.
Newsgroups: personal.postings
[snip]
> Just joking, but when/if do your due dilligence on this, you will
> find that other players do provide some spefiications for snr, even
> when they support many formats as well.
I'm not saying that other players don't publish the figure; what I'm
saying is that the figure is meaningless without knowing what it
measures. A 64 k/s MP3 is going to have a much lower S/N ratio than a
256 k/s one. Does the 98 dB refer to playback of the former, the
latter, or something else entirely? How do you know that two figures
from two different players are even directly comparable, if you don't
know they are measuring?
If/when you do your due diligence on, as an example, a DVD player,
you'll see that they quote different S/N ratios for playback of 16-bit
audio, 20-bit audio, and 24-bit audio, because the player has different
performance characteristics for each of these sources. Why? Because
S/N is a function of sample size with respect to digital audio.
Here's an analogy: you are shopping for bricks in the bizarro world.
You have a specific requirement to get the heaviest bricks available,
because you are using them to build a fortification that is intended to
keep an entire army of undead zombies at bay; and as we all know, the
heavier a brick is, the more zombie-resistant it is.
You go to the only brick store in all of bizarro world. At this store,
all bricks are kept behind a locked display, so you can't grab hold of
the bricks to see for yourself which are the heaviest. You will have
to rely on the packaging to make the determination. However, because
this is the bizarro world, the packaging refers only to a magnitude,
without reference to units. So your choice is between Brick "A", whose
packaging indicates that it weighs "50", and Brick "B", whose packaging
indicates that it weighs "80". Which brick should you buy? You pick
Brick "B" because the number is larger, and, absent any additional
information, it represents your best guess. When you get back home to
install the brick in your fortification, you quickly find that it does
not stop the zombies, and they overrun your fortification and eat all of
your flesh, as zombies tend to do.
What went wrong? As it turns out, Brick "B"'s weight was expressed in
pounds, while Brick "A"'s weight was expressed in kilograms[*]. Brick
"A" was really 50% heavier. By making assumptions about the meaning of
the figures, based on incomplete information, you have jumped to the
wrong conclusion, the tragic consequences of which are death-by-zombie.
So, once again: because you don't know what that figure means, it is
not really any better than having no figure at all; in some contexts,
such as those involving armies of undead zombies, it is far worse than
having no figure at all.
Just as you should have judged the weight of the bricks by lifting them,
you should judge the sound quality of electronics by listening to them,
and not by what the box says.
Ryan.
[*] - not actually a measurement of weight, but convertible to one when
the force of gravity is known.
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* Humour *
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[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
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The Toast
=========
Thanks to stalwart J&G reader, R.P.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
my life between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best
Toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep,
and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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* General Info *
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Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
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Copyright (c) 2001, 2005 N.U.T.S. All rights reserved.