The result of a very long night and a whole lot of drinking, it's...
T H E J U I C E A N D G I N
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Term XXXVIII, Issue 4 (#149)
Weather outlook:
Run for your lives!
************
* Contents *
************
- Editor's Blurb
- Ongoing Events
- Photographia
- Greg's DTK
- Humour
- General Info
******************
* Editor's Blurb *
******************
Hey all
So there you go: after a wacky week on Parliament Hill, we've still got
a Liberal minority government... for the time being. (There have been
some comments that I am overstepped my bounds as J&G Editor by treading
on Greg's DTK territory with the political musings in the introductions.
To my detractors I say: "I've got to fill this space up with something.
The public demands it." But feel free to read the DTK this week for
Greg's wrap-up on the whole shake-down.)
Lots of new people out at the Pool League this week, even being the
Victoria Day weekend. Who knew people loved the league that much that
they'll give up lounging around just to shoot a little stick. Just
remember new players are welcome to come out anytime. Tell your
friends. We're trying to start our own little revolution.
One more issue until the big 1-5-0. I can hardly contain myself. I
also hope I don't forget.
Until next time,
Don't eat the green gravy!
Michael (mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca)
And now, the rest of the story...
******************
* Ongoing Events *
******************
[See the Event Calendar on the web site for full descriptions.
--Ed.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pool League
===========
Mondays
http://www.solutionsatsource.com/pool
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/events/pool/index.html
Contact: Jason and Michael (mailto:pool$solutionsatsource.com)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Rock Climbing
====================
Thursday evenings some weekends
Contact: Claire (mailto:Claire.Mettier$alcatel.com)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****************
* Photographia *
****************
I thought I'd SHAKE IT UP this time for the Punch Of The Week.
...I guess that pun would make sense if I was throttling something, but
in any event, it's still a slight deviation from normal. Not that
anyone really pays attention to these things. But it wastes time and
bandwidth all the same.
http://nutsevents.topcities.com/pictures/Punch/index.html
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror/pictures/Punch/index.html
******************************
* Greg's Deep Thought Korner *
******************************
Democracy: It works... occasionally.
The first thing to understand with a democracy is how dangerous such a
system is to the truly wealthy.
Suppose you own a manufacturing concern and the public realizes that you
have been lobbying the government to go to war in order that it might
buy more munitions from you. Well, in that case, the people might just
decide to take your ill-gotten profits from you and shut down your
business! The ingrates! Don't they know that your wonderful arms
business has been providing the economy with jobs! Jobs!
You get the idea. If you have a lot of money, there's always the chance
that the majority (i.e. those making less than you) might decide that
you owe them some healthcare, or some education for their children, or
that your method of profit making just isn't all that ethical.
Enter the era of the owned political parties. The first thing the
wealthy have to do is get control of the major political parties. Make
sure that the agenda of the bankers, the lenders, the lawyers and the
corporate executives becomes the agenda of the government. How many
teachers and doctors have seats in our parliament? How many steel
workers? How many janitors? Contrast those numbers with the bankers
and the CEOs.
That's why it's so surprising to me when democracy actually works,
especially in a country like ours with such strong party discipline. If
you were paying attention (and how could you not), you might have
noticed that the defection of a single MP from the Conservatives turned
the tide in Parliament and led to the passing of a budget which will
increase funding for things like education, low income housing and the
Kyoto Protocol.
Now, after you get tired of hearing the Conservatives refer to the
defector as a "whoring.. harlot," a "ditz" and a "dipstick" (good lord,
sometimes I'm embarrassed to be male), you might realize that democracy
actually worked. The poor people of Canada, via a fringe party (the
NDP) and a defector (multimillionaire MP Belinda Stronach) actually
managed to get the Prime Minister (another ridiculously wealthy person)
to take a little money back from corporate tax cuts and spend it on
things that make everyone's life better.
Democracy: it's not a complete fraud.
Greg.
[Send responses to DTKs or new Editorials to mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
**********
* Humour *
**********
[Forward any good jokes or interesting web sites you see to
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quotes To Live By
=================
Thanks to Linda G.'s Comedy Gold Machine
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he
was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I have a degree in Liberal Arts; do you want fries with that?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for
a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
31. Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****************
* General Info *
****************
Contact the NUTS Committee:
mailto:nutsinfo$yahoo.ca
The NUTS Website is:
http://nutsevents.topcities.com
http://torpedo.ca.newbridge.com/mirror (for people within Alcatel)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 2001, 2005 N.U.T.S. All rights reserved.